People have called me and continue to call me stupid for the weird reasons I’ve been able to come up with every time I try to explain myself. I don’t justify, two different aspects and don’t get me wrong. This is not a MADDY blog anymore.
I’ve wanted to and I think I’ve been able to transform this space into a place I can shout my thoughts out. Gaya3 was doing a “revision” of this blog and now tells how nostalgic it is to see my transformation. Well, she has been with me even before I knew to use a computer. I’m glad she told me her perspective.
I’ve always wondered one thing about most masala regional flicks. How come the lead male or female always has a reason to fall in love and then start expecting things like marriage, being together, spending the rest of the life, sitting in a bench when 60 years old hold each other’s hands, endless duets starting around trees, now these days around a g-string, well, seriously, I have a good laugh. Don’t get me wrong, there are exceptions though. Really, good exceptions.
Movies like The Notebook, PS I love you, The Proposal, in my opinion (now why would you want to hear mine?) show the subtle difference between love and unconditional love. You don’t start loving a person thinking he/she will marry you in 3 years, have kids after 4 years, buy you a house in 7 years, and blah blah for the rest of your sane life. Nope, sorry, wrong. I once heard a guy tell me, for you finding a girl is a piece of cake. Whoa, wrong again. You don’t find somebody. That is also called “desperate” and no, I stopped believing in “The One”, “Meant to be”, “Ideal match” after seeing things in my life and a number of other friends. Love is a feeling just like happiness, sadness, just tad more complex and I’d say, a mixture of emotions. You shouldn’t try to control the outcome. That is when the twists and turns of life amazes you and stands you out of the usual stereo type relationships.
Eventually, being myself is more important to me than anything else. I know relationship is about tolerance, perseverance, empathy, patience and love! Trust me, I’ve done it all; why would I compromise for a reason that would eventually anyway break the relationship? I’d rather move on and hope to fall in love again (NOT find someone else) who would appreciate me as a person, accept me just the way I am and above all NOT judge me. I’ve always been able to give 10x times of what people give me. You have the luxury of choosing what you want to throw at me! There are phases in life people cling on too much to like death, breakups, marriage. They ending up missing out on what might probably be the next big thing of their lives and by the time they think they want to move on, they are too scared to take a decision again! I really feel like saying this here. Now is never too late!
My philosophy- Life is about risks, the bigger the risk, the brighter are the chances of being happy. My career move, a BIG gamble. My first breakup, my subsequent breakups- gambles. Yet, I didn’t risk too much, I played safe when it came to my personal life and I didn’t get what I wanted. Had I done this or had I prepared for that yada yada… There are plenty of permutations and combinations I should think of; no, I’ve stopped doing that. There, I wrote it all out. My mind is blank again.
Listen to this
Until next wave of fuzzy thoughts :)