Today is one of those nights when I’m missing people who were everything to me. I’m lonely, lost, clueless. I’ve lost hope and I don’t want it back ever again. It is for the greater good. I don’t think any girl will ever fight for a cause, at the least even stand up for what she wants. Or may be girls are good humans. The good part is, I’ve devoted myself to work again. It won’t have been possible to get 4 promotions in less than 4 years if I had commitments. Rant off.
Now this, what I write today, doesn’t happen like every other scribble I’d do on occasion. RE Bullet has always been THAT dream, that I thought would never come true. Before buying my FZ, the only bike in my mind was bullet. It has been so since school. But Maddy, liked the silver red FZ-S and I got it for her. I have always had the time with my first bike. I’d ride 400 KMs every weekend from Chennai to Pondicherry for two reasons. Gay3 loved to ride with me and I've ever been crazier overtaking every other rider on the road and it was always my perfect companion.
Since I took the test drive of the Classic 500, I’ve been wanting to own one and I waited 7 whole months to actually get my hands on one. No, I wasn’t lucky to get it delivered before my birthday. I’ve never been lucky enough. Are you telling me I’m sounding pessimistic ? Like I care, huh.
All the FZ could get was a single ride with Maddy. It wasn’t the most impressive ride and she ended up being scared for most of it. I do sometimes feel bad for missing out on life. But for what it is worth, she did an an amazing job keeping me happy. I came over to Bangalore and never needed a reason to roam around pointlessly even at 2 AM in the night. I’ve been cautious to avoid cops but yet, I did get caught in front of total mall when I was desperately looking for a way to recharge a pre paid phone for one of my ex’s phone. The reason they caught- No helmet. Damn man, ended up crying out 100 rupees.
If God were to come to me and tell I can grant you one wish but that can happen only in your past, I’d say, make me numb to emotions. I’d never have known what a heart break is or to falling in love to start with. No one would have even had the smallest of thought of liking me. But, I’m not that lucky am I? At best, I can fake it and I try tirelessly to make it real. Someday..
No, I can hear you. It was an hour and half drive around Bangalore starting from Madivala, Electronic City, Hosur, Koramangala, MG Road, Brigade Road, Vittal Mallya Road back home. It was pointless and ended up draining the petrol I had. Which means, I’ll hardly get 5 hours, if lazier, 6 hours of sleep and end up fuelling tomorrow evening biting nails till the last drop of petrol dries out. Yep, that, is exactly me these days. Lost. Clueless!
BTW, I’ve publically made this my personal blog in linkedin, facebook, my website and google profiles. People say if I were anywhere close to being sane, I’d not be writing a blog just for breakups and that I’d stop drooling and get over a heart break. Well, people, one word, deal with it. You don’t like it, don’t even try reading it. I’m not here to force my opinions. I write what I want to write, in my blog. Yes, I’m very arrogant when it comes to this blog.
I’ve stopped trying and the only way I can stop feeling sad and let alone is talking to her here. I just hope I don’t go crazy like one one of them bollywood movies. I have too much of debt to repay and my bankers will definitely not appreciate my insanity.
Falling in love or loving like crazy was never good enough.
Being ready to do anything and standing against the whole world for the person you love is not enough.
You should also be able to persuade them to change their mind and make a life with you.
You must be able to force them to gather some guts and fight for you.
You ought to be able to convince them you are worth fighting.
PS: I’m getting better with dark comedy. That I’ve been noticing myself. Don’t need to embarrass anyone or should I be saying I’m already doing it to myself? LOL, I don’t think even a drunkard could blabber this insane when I do without a drop of al-kuhul.