Even before I mentioned my love for Maddy, she had made it very clear that she can never be in love or even dream of getting married to anyone but the guy her parent’s chose. In a way, I did screw up her life. Knowing that she can NOT be with me, even if she wanted to, I did it. Was I selfish, mostly, yes. But did I care about her? Definitely, a 100% yes.
It wasn’t easy for us to sustain the relationship as she always had to think a lot of aspects. But I still remember the day, she cooked for me. She made me feel very very special, just like I did. I took did cook; well the microwave comes in handy you know! That microwave sits at Pondy with my mom.
Today, I’m realising things that I can’t undo. All this pain and suffering wouldn’t have happened, had I never expressed my love. She really did like me. Priorities in life for her and I were a little different. I don’t find her at fault. Neither do I blame her for loving me so much that I still can’t get over her. But the one ray of hope she believed so much in- her uncle, didn’t help that much.
All I can say today is, well, I knew what I signed up for and I very well should have realised it. I just had a hope that I would stand a chance. I never did!
Miss you sometimes.. Wish you were here for me. But that is alright.. I’ve learnt to live this way.. Just that it hurts once in a while.
Note: For first time readers, this whole blog is a monologue. And the girl Maddy, does NOT know that this blog exists.. I hope that clears things up