Been thinking a while to write. Work doesn’t give me much social time, which is a good thing. Like it or not, people change eventually. People I know, I’ve been with, say my transformation has been *radical* over the past year. Quite frankly, part of it, I forced myself into. Rest just added on as things progressed.
Sometime back, I did something I would never usually do. Sent a friend request to someone I hardly knew, except that I’ve seen her a couple of times. I hoped my charisma would (!) make her accept the invite, well, duh, ya think so!
Abu the other day said, its ok to try everything once and I agree. What is life without doing what I want to do and when I want to do it, right ? Anyways, when I was talking to him, I came up with this ingenious phrase, I’ve upgraded my dreams.
What I mean by this is, I honestly don’t know yet. But for a fact, I’ve changed my first generation Xperia to X10. I’ve booked a RE Classic 500 ( I just can’t stop bragging about the RE!). I’m officially a “manager” in the Job Responsibility definition of IBM. So may be this led me into thinking that I indeed have upgraded. Oh, and did I forget my Sony Alpha 230y!
But relation with my family has degraded over time. For some reason, I don’t know what- when I say I don’t know, I really don’t, I’m not able to spend enough time. My dad discharged from the ICU was just an excuse to pay my folks a visit. Ridiculously arrogant, yes, I can hear ya.
Something definitely seems missing, or is it just me getting into a state of mind? It has been so since after Maddy and even though I’ve been with someone else after that and then someone else even after that and then,.. (full stop) Job keeps me incredibly busy. I’m back to the old of days skipping meals, forgetting breaks, seeing back to back movies all day and sleeping at 4 AM, clickty clickty 24x7! Yet, I miss that infinite load of happiness just knowing that I was with her! Now, no offense, friends are great help, even though its a couple of hours a day, indulging me in all sort of nonsense, thanks to them :-)
Every time I write, I write as if this was the last; can’t really help it. Just keep coming back. Helps me to drain the part of me I haven’t brought in the open for over a year now. Well, I do keep talking about the past, but I’m on guard when I do that! I don’t booze, so people can’t bring that Bala out and I see my-type-movies ALONE!
BTW, I’ve started speaking very very pathetic Malayalam aka starting to learn it (its a overwhelming number- everyone around me are one!) I think that is it for now, laterz.