There are whole list of resolutions I took for the new year.. 1 of it is to continue writing here until I find someone special. This is a selfish act. I say so because, writing here has helped me in the past and I trust it will continue to be so. I'm able to worry less for not having a life and be able to smile and make-believe that I am A normal person.
It was 12 midnight, the world out there was welcoming the new year. Even though I was there, my mind was thinking about what would do this new year... I've been asking myself, What difference am I going to be able to offer to this world that makes me a better person ?
Did she want me to be an optimistic always ? She probably forgot to mention. I'm so very glad that I didn't tell her about this blog. I think I used to be extremely optimistic about everything in life. To the extent that I even considered admitted in the hospital for an accident as a good thing.. Well, I still continue to have that trait in my professional life.. Just not able to get my heart to approve being optimistic in my social life....
I thought I'd deleted the photos, mails, text messages, whatever I had from her, with her.. Geez, I just got some of them while cleaning my hard-disk...I've offered a good new year present to myself..
I guess I got back to the past again, coming back to the resolution for new year, I've also decided to tell my past in great detail to whoever I see might become close to me. If they decide to detest me for that, well, its a choice they have..
Like I quoted from Hitch, not all at once, but gradually..
People have called me names in the past- I'd like to see some new ones flow... With the new Mohawk hairstyle, people call me Dinosaur... lol, some even address me with a double syllable call name...
I've been making new friends, I started closer, but now distancing myself like in the past.. It has not been hard for me to see what is coming or what people intent doing with my heart...
I decided to stick to a 2009 resolution of delivering and then talking about it.. I guess I was quite successful with that professionally.. I logically can't think of a reason why I can't stick to 2010's resolution until or unless something dramatic happens, or do I call it disastrous,.. err is miraculous a better word ? I just love miracles..
This blog from where I see, is shaping into a personal diary rather than a breakup yarn... I am not controlling what I write.. neither do I wish to compel myself to write according to the 'context'. I set the rules, I can break or change it whenever I want to; holdon, did I just sound like an anarchist ? lol That is what I am in my turf I guess..