A place I write about my personal and professional life, sharing experiences and an occasional rant about anything and everything that comes to my head. Thanks for visiting!

What do I want ?

It hurts to breathe because every breath I take proves I can't live without you.

I want to be with you forever, sharing your sorrow and joy. Giving you pleasure and happiness, take you around the world, show you places you have never been to, let you listen to music you never heard, let you taste food you would love to eat, let you do things you always wanted to do.

May be all I want to do is keep seeing you for all my life. Which may be why I am not able to wipe out your pictures from my heart. I still have that ringtone for you in my cell phone. I listen to it every day thinking, it is you that is actually calling.

I read those texts we exchanged and found that I was being a idiot not understanding what you wanted.. You wanted out and I was forcing you into the relationship.. You made up you mind sooner than I expected it to happen

I didn’t see it coming this fast. I keep thinking of that night we talked for the last time. The last time I told you that I loved you with my life. I always hoped, one day I would wake up realising all this was a bad dream and we would be our ways in love, getting married some day, make a home, have kids, tour the world, contented,…

Am sorry my love, I never fulfilled our dreams. I wasn’t able to do what we always wanted to do. I knew the caste problem. I knew you were kind hearted. I knew you were afraid. I was the one responsible of taking care of us; I messed up.

Not doing anything is the least I could I. I wanted to talk to your parents. I should have visited your parents, talked to them, convinced them, do all I could. Just talking to you uncle and not doing anything else was the biggest blunder I could do.. Why was I not willing to do things you didn’t want me to. Was I also inclined towards a break up ? Was I afraid of not giving you a good life ? Was I scared about the ill will your family might get ? Was I worried about the future of my sister and things wouldn’t go well if I was a failure ?

What was I thinking, I don’t know and I want to find out what. My heart doesn’t have an answer. Does yours ? If it does, can you do a favour by telling me the truth ?

To err is human. Can you give me a second chance; Do I even deserve one ?

TTYL

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