No one can promise they’ll never hurt you, because at one time or another they will. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end.
I tried to skip the US trip my DPE was asking me to attend. It was three weeks and I wasn’t ready yet to depart her for 3 weeks. I tried to convince him to replace me with someone else and in the mean time, the trip was announced cancelled for some reason. Was glad. She wasn’t. She did not like me spoiling my career for her. I feel for her again. If I had to count the times I feel for her, I would probably lose track. She was that good.
Well about the trip, a week passed and one fine Friday, I just got to my parents’. It was my day off and the tele rang. It was my DPE.., “pack you bags, we are leaving Sat night.” I was like, WTH?. We knew we didn’t have much time. The sad part was that I had some stuff I had to collect from Chennai. I thought I would give her a visit, but then she was away to B’lore for attending a friend’s marriage..
Life was playing sick jokes with me. I decided to change my flight plan and depart from B’lore hoping to see her before I leave. Duh, my parents decide to drive down to drop me at the B’lore airport. I tried to convince them, I can take care of myself.. They weren’t the ones ready to listen to me. So I told them I wanted to meet her before I left and I got the answer I thought I might get. But then I spoke with her, all. First time we both were getting distanced.
Apparently the DPE too realised there was something bothering me as I wasn’t concentrating on the reports that were due that evening. He let me talk, thanks to him. I called her again and she wanted to drive down to the airport that was 40 km away at 1 AM in the night. I wasn’t ready for the risk she was willing to take. Talked her into staying back home.
I boarded the flight and when I landed in Omaha, she got my first call. She was glad and I was sad to be away. Yet, the telephone is wonderful device.. I love the tele lol
From that day on, I called her everyday, shared my good and bad and to my surprise, she started talking and saying things I’d never heard her speak. The distance was doing the trick.. I could sense her scent, feel her warmth.. I felt heaven whenever I spoke with her.. The desire to meet her grew more with the time we were away.
We planned about the home we would buy to live together, the car that would carry her places, the clothes she would wear, everything. She even told me she would stay with my parents and work from home. Well, so many things untold were going in both our minds..
Now, all I have left are the memories- evergreen, soothing, rejuvenating, heavenly,.. I run out of words every time I talk about her qualities. She was my everything. Trying to replace that with someone or something will never happen, neither am going to try. But 1 thing I will do and working on is to learn to live the pain and be able to conceal what I feel and pose a happy mask. Can’t afford to hurt all those who care for me. Peace