“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
It was a bright Saturday morning. I texted Good Morning to her. She called at 11 when she woke up. The long talk started and we ended up deciding to have meet and may be have lunch. I had to work that evening so we had to make sure we meet and say our good byes before that..
I got ready for work and reached work in advance by 4 hours. She was waiting for me at her cubicle. I had called her to say I’d late by an hour (which was a lie), to surprise her.. As we kept talking, I walked passed doors, turned around and saw her blushing, smiling, happy, trust me, that was the best moment for a while since we met again.
We sat down, held hands and kept talking. Most of what she did was to stare at me. I was too shy (no kidding!!!) to see her as there were people around not far away, banging heads on their PCs. We left for some lunch to the restaurant on the lane opposite to work.
She didn’t eat much and kept seeing me munching food. Had to force her into eating her food. It was sweet and I was so proud. The whole world kept seeing us. May be it was jealousy or may be they were glad to see a couple who were “made for each other” (that is how most of our friends who knew about the relationship, referred to us)
I enjoyed every moment of her happiness.. I admired her beauty and was thinking how lucky I was to be with her. I was crazy about her hair and yea, I liked it more than her eyes. I started debating to myself if the scent was natural or if she had something extra.. Never asked her. Still keep thinking.. Whenever I smell “Vicco Turmeric”, it reminds the time we were together.. She used a lot of it.
She was allergic to AC, she can’t have dairy products (rather she hated them). Her physique doesn’t let her work longer shifts. When she has a cold drink, it gets her nauseated and ends up in a cold. She can never skip food, if she does, she starts looking for pain balm for headache..
May be who ever is going to take care of her will learn all this too. I pray it should not be too late before it causes her agony or illness.. She must be happy.. May be she is still faking it. Some day, I want her to see some real happiness and live a life for herself