A place I write about my personal and professional life, sharing experiences and an occasional rant about anything and everything that comes to my head. Thanks for visiting!

Her First impressions

She had always thought of me as a rude, cold blooded, arrogant person who cares about nothing but the job in hand and resolving issues.. Whoa, don’t judge either yet. Keep reading

When we used to talk when I was abroad, all I used to tell her were 3 or 4 lines.. Yea, I was stupid then. Never realised who I was speaking with. Most of the IMs were about work, resolving open issues, servers going down. She was a Sys Admin and her team was not preceded by a positive reputation. All the more reasons for me to get rid of the problem and establish a resolution. I called her once when I wasn’t able to reach anyone in her team and she was the only person who was available on IM

So the short talks obviously made her think that I was a total maniac.. When I called her for the first time on Feb 13, 2009 and spoke with her for almost 2 hours, all she did was to listen.. I was lecturing her about my school days, my college life, how my first job was, the challenges I faced, the girls in my life, my family, my friends and well, the list is long and I don’t think the details are helping :)

Bunch of days later, when we met in person, I was asking her what her first impression about me.. The answer wasn’t a surprise. She never believed it was the same person who talks on official calls and personally on her mobile phone.. She always thought there were two different Bala s (lol). She was convinced enough when I spoke to her in person, as a friend (intimately as a lover, she didn’t know yet about the love)

Just before our breakup, I asked her again. She wasn’t hesitating when she said, “I will never feel the same way I do with anyone else. Neither can there be another person who can fill in your place”

At times I think what the heck, lets forget the whole world and just think about you and me; later I change myself and think, that is being too selfish. I let her make her decision and I’m never going to repent it regardless of the outcome..

I have been sad, frustrated, shattered, but never disappointed that I loved her.. I’ve been very fortunate to be her first love.



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